Kermit the Frog as SantaI admire and follow the philosophy of Jim Henson, the creator of the Muppets, which is, “There can be inspiration and fun in everything around us.” That’s why at every holiday party I’m prepared with a few family friendly riddles.


Between Santa, snowmen, and sugar cookies there’s a lot of good clean comedic material to launch a laugh-fest. If Kermit the Frog can avoid hazardous humor then you can too.


Yes, this type of humor might cause eyes to roll due to silly puns but I’ll bet a few candy canes you’ll repeat some of these lines at your office or home in the next few days.


Below are my hearty holiday humor lines that can be used in any presentation.


Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling crummy.


What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted snowflakes.


What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.


What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus.


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?



How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing, it was on the house.


What kind of music do elves like best?

“Wrap” music!


Why are elves so depressed?

Because they have low elf esteem.


What do you call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.


Why does Santa like to work in his garden?

Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!


Remember the four stages of life:

1.  You believe in Santa Claus

2.  You don’t believe in Santa Claus

3.  You become Santa Claus

4.  You look like Santa Claus


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